Yo. Welcome back to the land of Stumbles.
This week, I sat down with two good friends of mine who were graciously willing to let me record them talking about awkward moments. As you might possibly imagine, it was a bit awkward itself. But might I also say, very productive!
Let’s dig in!
Stumbly: So first off, when you say goodbye to somebody, but then they’re walking the same way as you..it’s like super awkward….
Cam Clogston: Yeah, I just make sure that doesn’t happen. What you do is, you say goodbye, okay? And then you linger a bit, and then you go the other way.
S: So you just stand in one place and pretend like you’re looking at a bug or something?
CC: No, you just..you just kinda draw it out a little, like..
Keaton Richey: You just draw it out and you walk the opposite direction of where you’re actually going and you take a weird circuitous route.
CC: Well that’s one of the options. The other option is to say goodbye and instantly book it. Like, get out of there. So if they’re going the same way as you, you’re already gone.They gotta follow you.Your’re..you’re too far ahead at that point.
KR: See no, I actually think it’s really funny when that happens, cause’ then especially you walk side by side with them and they’re like “Hey, hey where you goin’?” Cause’ it’s like, it’s probably someone that you know and maybe you know where they’re going already, it might have come up in conversation? And you still say it, and you’re like, “Well I guess I’ll just walk with you for a little bit longer.”
S: But that’s fine if it’s somebody you know but if it’s somebody that you don’t know very well, you’re just like [awkward noise]. You just kinda gotta wing it, I guess.
CC: You just always gotta know the shortest route possible back to your location, like …
S: So you’ve just got it mapped out?
S: Cam always knows whats the shortest way back to MO Hall….
CC: You gotta know what’s up.
KR: I don’t know, I mean as much as it’s happened to me, I never really thought it was that awkward. I always just think it’s really funny.
S: Alright, so this one was like, kinda funny, but it is really awkward when you think about it: Having happy birthday sang to you. Do you know what I mean?Like you just have to sit there.
CC: That’s why I always do the singing.
S: But when it’s your birthday, what do you do, Cam?
CC: I know the shortest possible route to get out of there.
KR: I was really hoping you were going to say “I sing it for myself too.”
CC: I mean I do join in…so you just sit there and let them sing to you?
S: I mean, yeah, kind of, sometimes I do like a little humming along, but I don’t know..
KR: I like to establish the key and the harmony.
S: Wow, really.
KR: I need the seventh. I demand the seventh.
S: So, next one is really awful. It’s when you clog the toilet at somebody else’s house. Like what do you do?
KR: I don’t say anything, I just walk out and I go.
S: But what if it’s there-the evidence is in the toilet. What if there’s a line and like people know that it’s you.
KR: Say the guy before me did it.
CC: So this is specifically at a friend’s house we’re talking about right?
S: Just anybody else’s house that’s not yours.
CC: Well, you don’t take sh*ts in other people’s houses.
S: You’ve seriously never had to use the bathroom at somebody else’s house?
KR: I usually just try not to poop at other people’s houses.
S: I mean, I try not to too, but there’s sometimes where you just can’t.
KR: I mean, in those situations, I’ve never clogged the toilet so I can’t think of a time when I’ve actually done it.But, I would think that if I did, I would just be like, “Is there a plunger?” No plunger? “Yo, where’s the plunger?” No plunger? Sorry folks.
CC: See, the strategy here is to run interference on yourself, you can’t let it happen.
S: Cam’s rule for all these situations, you just don’t let it happen.
CC: If it doesn’t happen, then you don’t have anything to worry about.
S: Okay, so I don’t know about this one..I feel like as we get older it gets less awkward but let’s just say you go to see a movie with somebody, like a date or something, and this crazy sex scene comes on. Like, very cringe-worthy.
CC: I don’t remember that happening to me..all my date movies were Harry Potter sh*t.
KR: I can like only think of a single movie that I’ve been on a date like that..and the movie was like “Easy A”, and there’s no sex in that.
CC: There’s some sweet Emma Stone though. I mean like, all the date movie nights I’ve been on were all Harry Potter.
S: That’s really funny.
KR: I went on a bro date to see High School Musical 3.
CC: That’s dope.
S: Also has no sex in it.
KR: Nope, no sex scene though.
CC: That’s disappointing. I was waiting for some like Zac Efron and Corbin Bleu action. And like a group scene for “We’re All in This Together.”
So basically, if there’s one thing we’ve established here, it’s that the only truly foolproof way to avoid awkward moments completely is to run 24/7 interference on yourself. Which is impossible. (Sorry, Cam.)
Big thanks to Cam and Keaton for being awesome 🙂
Hope you enjoyed this week’s rather humorous post! As always, feel free to comment below and check back next week for Stumbly’s next post.