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This week I originally was going to talk about “Post-It Notes and Passive-Aggressiveness” but I recently got a suggestion and I just couldn’t pass it up! So next week we’ll return to the normal material; this post is about being asked out and the various ways to handle the situation politely and get the best possible outcome.
For many college kiddos, Formals are just around the corner or already happening. That means that many of you might be looking for a date, have been asked to be a date, or you could be the group that’s just praying for a date. Ain’t no shame.
And even if you’re not going to a Formal, you still might be going on dates and such, right? You want to be prepared if that guy from Stats gets the nerve to ask, right? Or maybe you’re planning on doing the asking, in which case, good for you!
So, someone asked you out…now what?
Step 1: How do you feel about them?
First off, do you even know this person? Sometimes it happens where you get asked out by somebody you barely know. And you know what, that’s okay! Because what’s the point of a date again? Oh that’s right: to get to know somebody!
That said, it does help and makes things a little less awkward for you if you’re already somewhat familiar with the person doing the asking. if you do know them a bit from your friend group or class or something, you should have a pretty solid idea if they’re somebody you’d like to hang out with for at least an hour.
I feel like a good way to look at it is to remember that a date is JUST a date. You don’t have to have butterflies for them, don’t have to have a plan or high hopes. It’s JUST a date.
Then again, if you get weird vibes from them or you’ve heard very unflattering things, feel free to say no!
Step 2: Your feelings should mirror your response.
It’s scary stuff sure, but we’re getting into the adult world where toying with somebody isn’t okay. Therefore, what response you give to a person should reflect how you feel about them.
Unsure but still willing to go on a date? How about meeting them halfway and just going for a quick coffee? That way you’re not obliged to spend a butt-ton of time with them but you’ll still get a better read on them.
Actually pretty interested in them? Then say yes to the formal or whatever date they have planned, of course. You don’t have to yell ‘YES I WOULD LOVE TO!!” in their face but be genuine.
Already don’t like them? Then say no in a nice way. And please, don’t feel like you have to give some crap excuse like “I’m taken,” or “I’m just focusing on me right now.” Just man up and be honest: “Sorry, I’ve got other things to do.” Because that’s not a lie, you will actually have other things to do. Even if that only means Netflix, that’s still something else to do. Once again, no shame.
Step 3: Find a way to communicate.
You know how in cheesy rom-coms there’s always that moment where the guy asks the girl out, she says yes, and then he just says, “Cool, I’ll call you.”
Well, who in real life just walks away without getting a phone number?!? You obviously can’t call someone or text if you don’t have a number, folks. So get their number, and just in case, try to set a date and a time! That way you can avoid a lot of awkward back and forth and focus on the actual date.
Step 3: Have fun, and remember, a date is JUST a date!
For me, the most fun part of a date is getting ready and getting pumped and let’s be real, maybe a bit nervous. Because before you actually meet up, anything seems possible!
So head out the door with a positive attitude and remember that even if things don’t go quite as you wanted them to, it’s just a date.
You’ll have more dates.
And if you’re a part of that group I mentioned that’s hoping to find a date? Don’t be afraid to ask somebody, because the worst thing that can happen is they say no and that just means you’re free to find somebody even better. 🙂
So go forth and frolic at Formal or wherever your dates take you.
And if your date gets stupid and starts flirting with the waiter/waitress, you have Stumbly’s permission to slap them with your slice of pizza. #pizzaslap