Advice to a Freshman: From a Senior

As a senior, I look back and realize I did a lot of stupid stuff as a freshman.

And that’s okay. But most of that stuff was avoidable and if I had had some way to access my senior-level knowledge, I would have. So here’s tips from me and other seniors, via google search and of course, your friendly neighborhood Yik Yak thread. And to those freshies halfway through their first year? Just keep swimming.

Don’t wear a lanyard. It makes you look like a goon.

Enjoy your free time more while you still have it. Because someday you’ll have to have a job in school and it will undeniably eat up all your free time. And that’s even before you have to worry about applying to grad schools or finding a real people job


Don’t worry about all the frat parties, there will be more. And let’s be real, they’re not that great anyway. Unless being grinded on by a horny half-man is your thing.

It gets better. You haven’t met your love yet, but you will.

You might still be single as a Junior or even a Senior, and that’s okay. College is the time to figure out who YOU are.

Buy an extra pair of shoes.

Be nice to your roommate. That said, if they’re nuts, don’t be afraid to leave and find a new one that’s much better. 

Exercise to beat the freshman fifteen. Or the sophomore seven. Or the junior jiggle. Or even the senior chub-shuffle.

Also, enjoy your free rec center privileges because one day you will have to pay a crappy membership fee.

Keep organized!

If you decide to foray into the world of liquor and schnapps, be safe about it. Don’t be a dum dum.

Never half-ass an outfit.

Always use a condom. Yuck, I know, but you’re what, 17, 18? Either way, you can’t afford to have a chunker right now. Literally. 

And yeah, make like Dory and just keep swimming. Breathe. Which you can’t really do underwater but you get what I’m saying.


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