If you’ve ever been a student, you know that each year of college comes with its own set of thoughts and feelings, no matter who you are. Universally, for example, I think we can all agree freshman year is where everything seems as new and shiny as that spiffy lanyard they give you. And senior year always seems to promote feelings of “Oh shoot, I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.”
So let’s get nostalgic for a bit and recognize the things that everyone who’s ever been to college can relate to, both good and bad.
- Where’s my lanyard? I swear it was just around my neck, how could I lose it? Oh wait, there it is, it’s on backwards, hope nobody saw.
- Okay, what jerk took my laundry out of the machine before it was even done?
- I’ve lived in this dorm how long now and I still get lost?
- (Sees all the showers are full and gets desperate) Okay, who knows the code for the other bathroom?
- Must get to class on time, MUST GET TO CLASS ON TIME.
- Holy cow, college is much harder than high school was. How am I supposed to honestly get all this done?
- OMG (insert name) is so cute, and he only lives a floor down from me! Too bad that’s basically like living in another world here.
- Really, it’s my turn to use the TV, the guys have been playing Super Smash Bros literally all day.
- Should I join like a club or something? I don’t really want to buuuuuutttt……….
- Today will be a great day if I don’t have to talk to my parents.
- My God, they’re calling again???!? It’s the third time today.
- Sweet Jesus, my roommate is nuts, somebody please get me another room before I slap this crazy.
- Ahhh, feels good not to be a freshman anymore.
- (Walking around campus confidently finding your way) Hey, wait a minute, is that a new building? What, it’s always been there you’re kidding.
- It is so time to move off campus. My own parking spot, kitchen, MY OWN ROOM. It will be GLORIOUS.
- Why did it take me this long to realize the dorm food really is just awful?
- (sees friend that still is very much invested in what’s still happening at old high school) ………I don’t get it, why? You graduated………
- I really miss my pets….what are the chances that I’ll find a landlord that allows pets next year?
- Wait, you mean I have to sign the lease almost a year early???? What if I hate my roommate before the year is out? Refund?
- (Sees new crop of freshman with lanyards swinging) Ohhhh, now I see.
- I still have two years left, I guess this is a good feeling.
- I mean, I didn’t drop out as a freshman like so and so’s cousin did, so in a way I’m winning.
- But now I’m going to be a junior. Eh, can’t be as bad as junior year in high school right?
- Oh gosh, big mistake, it really is as bad as junior year of high school. Why are junior years the most stressful?
- I guess its time to start planning out the rest of my required classes so I can graduate on time. (gulp) Graduate.
- Maybe I should have taken CHEM 100 as a freshman like a normal person.
- WOOOTTTT, I’m 21, baby! From here on out, I’m a full-on adult, I’m unstoppable! I wonder if I can do that 21 shot challenge thing?
- (12 hours later) Oh god, its definitely a good thing I didn’t do the 21 shots last night.
- It really is too late to change my major I suppose, sigh.
- OKAY, who is this butt that decided to take my seat two weeks into classes? Come on, don’t we all know the system by now????
- I wonder if by required textbook, they really mean “never going to actually use the textbook, I just want to sham you out of a couple hundred bucks.”
- (Hears in head in voice: Dollar for dollar, nobody screws yo0u over like the University Bookstore)
- I know I’m not supposed to skip any classes but I’m getting strangely good at it heh heh.
- If advanced procrastination was a class, I’d get a solid A.
- Oh god, it’s here.
- What the heck am I going to do with my life? Everyone’s asking me what I’m doing next like I’m supposed to have the answer but I don’t.
- (Reads attendance policy for non-required course) Hah, this is the best joke I’ve ever heard.
- (Sees freshman who still care) Oh, bless their hearts. They still listen.
- Applications to grad school? Check. Sending resumes’ and cover letters out to possible employers? Check. Money? Nope.
- I GRADUATE IN 42 DAYS???? No, it’s too soon, oh gosh this is like death.
- I’m actually really going to miss college.
-From a nostalgic senior on the cusp of jumping into the abyss of actual adulthood.