Have you ever met someone so unabashedly confident in their own skin that it made you feel like…well, kind of like you’re missing out?
I met with a woman the other day who was wearing a dress that most people would probably think was ‘too tight for her body type.’ But I thought she looked beautiful and told her I really liked her dress. It made me think of a similar dress in my own closet, a dress that I bought some time back and have gazed at lovingly almost every weekend in hopes of wearing it. But I always end up leaving it on the hanger because I know that in that dress, I can’t hide all my lumps and bumps that I wish were not there.
Somewhere along the line, I stopped wearing all my cute clothes because I’m afraid of my curvy bits and what people will think of me if they’re popping out. And writing that out makes me realize how insanely stupid that line of thinking is.
Because I wouldn’t judge another woman for being curvy and wearing clothes that make her feel beautiful, even if her clothes accentuate those curves and bumps. Please, I get jealous every time I see a curvier woman than me wearing clothes that I only dream of wearing.
So why can’t I extend that same graceful thinking to myself?
Accepting yourself is a hard thing because the avenue to self-acceptance is filled with tricky side alleys that lead you in circles. For example, one of my main pitfalls is that whenever I feel self-conscious, I often try to bolster myself with the idea that nobody is really looking at me anyway because people are just in their own heads these days.
But even if it’s true, it’s still a crappy way to try to accept myself. I don’t want to feel good in my own skin because I know nobody is really looking at me; I want to feel good in my own skin because I know I am beautiful no matter who is looking.
Easier said than done. But I think if we take moments to appreciate our abilities and our best features, we can eventually become more grateful and confident in ourselves.
If we can extend the same grace we extend toward others, and love those who love us just the way we are, no matter how our bodies change, I believe we’ll be closer to the path of self-acceptance.